The bitter bus stops here...

I have been telling my friends and family for the longest time that I should be a blogger…Okay so namely I have been telling my friends because I don’t think anyone in my immediate family would know what a blog was…Not that I blame them, I mean where the eff did that word come from anyway? If I told my mom today that I were going to be a blogger, she’d probably think I was going to start playing real life dungeons and dragons in some mystical forest somewhere…how cool would that be if I were a LARP blogger? Hmmm…. I digress…

My life isn’t very glamorous…I mean I don’t have incredibly cute outfits to show off or any inside scoop on celebrities and their latest stint in rehab but I like to think my life is pretty interesting and hey, I mean if I ever have to go to rehab (in what’s sure to be an incredibly cute outfit) you’ll be the first to know!

I guess a fair place to start would be to disclose why I have finally taken the blog plunge, so here goes…

I am 26 years old and in need of a little something, something in my life (no, I don’t mean sex, although that would be nice too). See, my life was moving along all tickety boo for the first 24 years or so and then life happened. I was in a job that I loved but working for a woman I couldn’t stand. If this woman were a cartoon character, she would be like Cruella Deville except instead of being mean to little Dalmatian puppies she would probably be mean to little children, or even worse….to me! I wish you all knew me (although I am sure you all do) because you know what I am doing right now? Making my spit noise *huck too* as a sign that she’s dead to me. That’s right world, don’t piss me off, because I will be *huck too-ing* at you too!

But back to Cruella, so this woman steps in here and tries to kill my spirit and unicorns (yeah, there were a few unicorns running around the office when she came…not anymore, my friends…not anymore). Being the passive aggressive gal that I am, I really showed her…. I ate my way to revenge…gained a sweet 70 lbs or so… I don’t kid around when it comes to something like weight gain…go big or go home, I say! I can’t blame it all on her; there was a break-up in there and of course the fact that in my world the only pity party worth having is one where Oreo and Dorito are bringing the funk!

Since then I have continued to ride the bitter bus…well until recently… In October I decided that I had to get off the bus and get my life in order. This meant that I had to get serious about losing this weight I’d gained and stop fishing in the pond of duds. So I have begun a new way of eating and I actually exercise which until recently was a foreign concept for me… I have also taken a hiatus from boys…a mancation if you will. I don’t need the drama or the pounds that come with heartbreak.

So, there we go…it took me 3 paragraphs to say that I plan to blog about my attempt at being a non-fatty for once in my life. This is going to be one heck of a journey….a journey filled with celery sticks and personal trainers, a few tears and hopefully a few smaller, incredibly cute outfits!