I'll have 2 grapes with a side of testosterone, please!

This morning I took part in a research study. Not one of those ones where they give me testosterone in hopes that I could grow a penis or anything but pretty much…jokes! It was actually pretty interesting. I had a series of measurements taken and then did this breathing test while hooked up to a calorimeter….this is a machine which measures oxygen intake and carbon dioxide output to determine how many calories your body uses at rest. My dietician recommended that I look into it and when Stef says anything, I am in!

So from these tests they will be able to tell me how much of my body is fat, how much is water and how much is muscle. Could be pretty detrimental to my ego actually when I found out I am actually a walking blob of fat but I wouldn’t have expected anything better than that so I am prepared to hear the results. This magical calorimeter machine will tell me what my body needs each day to fuel itself. This will help me determine how many calories I should eat…this is one test I would like to do poorly on…c’mon 2000 calories….c’mon! Somehow I doubt I am that lucky as it will likely be closer to 1400 calories or so but once a fatty, always a fatty!

In preparation for this morning’s tests I had to fast for 12 hours. Which you wouldn’t think would be a big deal at all, but with my current eating plan, I eat normally every three hours so I was really thrown off. And of course I had plans with a friend last night and couldn’t eat when we went out to a club. She even had chocolate cake and I had to stay away…okay, I took one bite. But I had to…she said she’d stop being my friend if I didn’t and I would hate to lose a friend over something as petty as cake. Boy am I glad I am a good friend…the cake was phenomenal! But seriously though, why is it that when you are not supposed to eat that you want to eat the world? Sometimes I think that my stomach and my brain are in cahoots with one another to sabotage my weight loss success. But why would they do that? I have been good to my stomach over the years…incredible actually. He (yeah, my stomach is a boy…weird, right?) has had more treats than any other stomach I know. But like a typical man I guess, he is just never satisfied…enough is just never enough with this guy! Perhaps he knows that I would trade him in for another in a heartbeat. I think I would take Starr Jones’ stomach. I would have the benefits of a gastric bypass without the complications or investment. I would be full after two grapes…I would be so skinny! Of course, I would just take her interior stomach; the outside would have to be Jessica Biel’s…not that I have put much thought into this or anything? Okay, that was weird…moving along…

Today is a pretty shitty day in Toronto in terms of weather but I am in a great mood, considering… Tonight as part of my course we’re having a cooking demonstration with a professional chef and yes, you guessed it…we get to eat the food. Hmmm…maybe that’s why I am in such a great mood?!

Here's what I will look like with my new stomach...not bad if I do say so myself! (I think this morning's tests did something weird to my skin colouring...weird eh?)