Everything's coming up me!

Have you ever heard of a non-scale victory or NSV as my friends at Weight Watchers would have called it? Well, basically this is when you improve on something other than the scale throughout your weight loss journey i.e. you go down a notch on your belt or your pants start to fit a little bit better. These are huge motivations for people like me who are trying to achieve SLB status…I mean don’t get me wrong, seeing the number on the scale go down would be pretty friggin’ sweet too, but I will take it where I can get it.

Yesterday was an amazing day for NSV’s! Firstly, I had a meeting… I have been attending these meetings for almost 5 years and they always end up the same. I come up with an idea, which is obviously brilliant, everyone disagrees and then somebody else suggests the same thing and it’s time to call up The Nobel Foundation (did I mention these meetings are about world peace?) and recommend they receive some sort of prize. Okay, so not the Peace Prize, although they do seem to be giving that away like Tiger Woods’ hotel room keys these days, but I'm talking about the kind for sheer brilliance. They exist I am sure…look it up!

Here’s the thing though…yesterday’s meeting was not like that. People actually listened to what I had to say and - you should probably sit down for this one – agreed with me! It was a huge development in my career, which me (having huge issues with food) has attributed to me leading a healthier lifestyle. How effed up is that? I have actually convinced myself over these past 26 unhealthy years that being unsuccessful at anything in life was a direct result of me being fat. Well, don’t worry friends, I now see how crazy I am and I am working on changing that.

Okay, so maybe that’s not really an NSV, but I am getting to it… At this meeting I got to see people I hadn’t seen in a while, 2 of whom asked me if I had lost weight. There are no better words in a fat girls’ world let me tell you aside from maybe, “oops, we accidentally supersized your fries, so this double quarter pounder meal is free…sorry for the inconvenience.” To which I would have to reply, “well, it is a terrible inconvenience, but just give me the supersize fries and nobody will ever have to know the difference!” Okay, back on track… so then later in the day, our bookkeeper (who I adore) asked if I had lost weight. She actually apologized for asking. So here I am telling the world, and by world I mean my 10 closest friends and maybe my sister, on behalf of fatties everywhere…it is more than okay to ask a fatty if they’ve lost weight. In fact, you should ask strangers on the street you’ve never seen before, just to see their faces light up….okay, maybe don’t do that, you may weird them out. But by all means, you can ask me that anytime!

The NSV’s don’t stop there though…so last night I had a hot date with my trainer (I am taking this fitness/nutrition class, which you will hear more about eventually because I love it!) So in last night’s class, I noticed huge developments in my strength. Like for example, I can now do plank for a full minute, whereas when we first started I was lucky to make 15 seconds at a time. And when we did dead bug (this exercise was actually created by Lucifer himself) I could do it for a full minute and when we started I could literally do it for 5 seconds before taking a break. I mentioned it to our trainer and he was like yeah, I noticed you were getting better. He then asked me if I wanted to bear his children and we’re actually going to Vegas to get married today. NSV what?!?