Hey Samuel, wanna go for an ice-cream?

I have come to the conclusion that attempting to lose weight is pretty much just a constant set of negotiations you enter into with yourself. If I eat this bagel, I can’t have any grains at lunch, so do I want to have the bagel or do I want to have a piece of paper aka Weight Watchers bread for breakfast so that I can still have carbs at lunch. It’s really quite mentally exhausting. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am very thankful for Weight Watchers products and they certainly taste alright, but for an Irish girl like me, when I think bread, I think Texas Toast not Eucharistic wafer.

The funny thing is that I am totally a planner. I plan out every aspect of my life, from what I am going to wear all week to what my children’s names will be and where my future husband and I will vacation. I have had my wedding planned out from the flowers to the music to the venue for the past 5 years….it’s so weird that I’m single? I mean what guy isn’t looking for a girl reeking of matrimonial desperation on the first date? Well…not anymore!

Allow me a moment of self righteousness….I know it’s only been a little over 2 months since I have begun this journey (I need a new word for that…I’m on it!), but I already feel like I have this newfound sense of clarity when it comes to my personal life. As pathetic as this may sound, I used to lay in bed at night and think about my future and get panicked because I am one of the remaining single gals in my sea of friends (yeah, I said it…I am truly quite popular). But lately, I have begun to look at it differently. I have noticed that when I go to bed at night, the only thing I think about is this magical voyage I am on (voyage any better than journey? I will keep working on it). I think about how long it will take me to hit those big milestones like 25 lbs, 50 lbs and then the glorious 100 lb marker that I am so longing for. I think about all the cute little dresses I am going to buy and how happy I will be. A little sad I guess that my happiness would depend on a little digital number on a scale but it kind of does. Not entirely, I am actually a pretty happy person in general. Who wouldn’t be with a sea of friends?

So today I will be playing the role of “The Negotiator,” yeah, that’s right…I’m pretty much Samuel L. Jackson. I’m going out for dinner tonight with a friend, so I have to strategically plan out what I will eat for the rest of the day, because god knows that dinner has to include a glass of the red stuff! This nutritional strategy thing is all pretty interesting to me though, really. My dietician told me I should consider a career in the field…well, until I encouraged another member of my class to count ice-cream as a serving of milk products. She was quick to take back the career path recommendation after that. What? Ice-cream is not a straight up healthy dairy choice? Weird…I wonder why I’m fat?!