Tourette's with a side of twentysomething Alzheimer's and ADD

Well to start things off… I achieved all of my goals for the weekend, granted they weren’t too lofty, but still. I went to the gym both Saturday and Sunday and avoided dessert all weekend. I actually really liked the gym this weekend. I have decided that the elliptical is like a fat girl’s treadmill. It’s amazing. I mean I couldn’t run for more than 2 minutes on a treadmill but on that thing I can go for 15 minutes pretty much running, no problem! I also did the bike yesterday, which I never do. It is amazing; you can fully read a book or magazine and the time flies. I always see people reading on the treadmill and elliptical and I think they’re crazy. When you’re bopping up and down like that, how can you possibly be concentrating on reading? The only thing I can do while on those machines, aside from sweat my ass off, of course, is listen to music. Sometimes I even sing along…but just a few words every couple of verses. That’s right; I pretty much have tourette’s syndrome, but it only comes out at the gym.

Okay, so I have some more venting to do…this one is a little off-side but if you’re a woman I think you’ll totally agree with me. So we all know that while we’re on our periods, we retain water, which doesn’t exactly give you an accurate indication on the scale of how your weight loss efforts are going. When you take into consideration that you begin retaining water pre-period (I like to use medical jargon) then technically like 8-10 days out of the month the scale is not really your friend. Well, not that it’s ever really your friend. The scale is kinda like that friend from high school. You know the one that insists on talking every time you run into them when it’s blatently obvious to both of you that you have nothing in common anymore. It’s that kind of friend. I mean it’s kind of nice to see them when they have something good to bring to the table, like a nacho dip at a pot luck or a compliment like, “Hey B, have you lost weight?” For moments like those, that friend is okay to have around. That is the equivalent to a non periody time of the month on the scale when the scale shows you a lower number than the last time you paid it a visit. But then most of the time when you run into that friend it’s the same old, “remember the time we got drunk and went bowling?” Yep, I still remember that…surprisingly Alzheimer’s hasn’t taken over my 26 year old brain just yet. I guess I am just lucky like that. Weird!

So do you get why I am pissed off? How is it fair that as a woman I only get approximately 20 days a month to be accurately weighed? And when you take into consideration that it’s not entirely accurate within a few hours of eating a big meal, really the only time of day I want to step in the scale is first thing in the morning, naked. That’s obviously the most accurate time of the day, right?

Today’s lesson? Not only do I have gym tourette’s and Alzheimer's but by the way this blog went, apparently ADD too!